The Eighties Online

It was the decade of decadence. It was about glitz and glamour as well as baubles, bangles, and beads.

Elizabeth Taylor dropped in for Luke and Lauras wedding. Lady Diana Spencer joined the Royal Family. Nighttime soaps like Dallas and Dynasty ruled the airwaves. Margaret Thatcher ruled the United Kingdom. Tom Cruise felt the need for speed. Gordon Gekko taught Wall Street whiz kids that greed was good. Material Girl Madonna made her musical debut. When did all this take place?

We can only be talking about that terrific time period - the excellent eighties.

Here are twenty-one ways for you to verify that you belong to (or belong in) the 1980s.

1. You tried breakdancing. Now youre trying to figure out how you didnt break any bones doing it.

2. You know that Molly Ringwald was an original cast member on Facts of Life. (Now youre singing both of the shows theme songs.)

3. You remember paying by the minute for long distance telephone service and you can still hear the tune from the phone company commercial when they encouraged you to “reach out - reach out and touch someone.”

4. You had at least one of the following: a My Little Pony, He-Man action figures, a Rubiks Cube, or something with a Star Wars logo on it.

5. You remember a lot of headlines about the Human Genome Project, which was a complete mapping of human DNA. You also remember how this was supposed to lead to the eradication of disease.

6. You were tuned in the exact moment that thousands of radio stations across the world played “We Are The World” at the exact same time. (Now, youre singing it!)

7. You call CDs records or albums and you still have a diamond needle record player. You also know what a Cassingle is. Bonus points if you still have one.

8. You know who Oliver North is and why he was in the news.

9. Someone on your street or neighborhood sent all the money he or she had to a later discredited televangelist.

10. You hung out with your friends at the mall, especially in the video arcade where you exchanged those hard-earned quarters for tokens.

11. You remember when Reagan met Gorbachev in Reykjavik, Iceland for a summit.

12. You and your friends made fun of the “Ive fallen and I cant get up” lady. (The fictional woman was named Mrs. Fletcher and the product was the LifeCall emergency service.)|You and your friends made fun of the “Wheres the beef?” commercials for Wendys starring Clara Peller.}}}

13. You think the word “like” in an integral part of every sentence and should be used as often as possible. Like this, “She was like, like why would I say that, thats not like me at all. Like who does she think she is, you know? Like, really!”

14. You know there was only one way Dorothy on the Golden Girls could make Sophia behave. She simply said, “Shady Pines, Ma, Shady Pines.”

15. Youve actually tasted New Coke. Extra points if you wrote to Coca-Cola and insisted they bring back the original formula.

16. You remember when television consisted of three networks ABC, CBS, and NBC.

17. You know what a snap bracelet is and how one works.

18. You were inspired by Sandra Day OConnor, the first female Supreme Court Judge.

19. Going to the video store to get movies about Jason Voorhees, Freddy Krueger, and Michael Myers took up a lot of your time.

20. If someone says, “I dont know,” you automatically cringe expecting the green slime to mysteriously fall from the ceiling.

21. You wore out your thumbs playing video games on any or all of the following consoles: Atari, Intellivision, Sega, Nintendo, and Coleco.

Not nearly enough totally tubular nostalgia for you, for sure? Need more wicked rad 80s memories? Visit the 1980s trivia list at author Matthew Grants site. (http://www.comprehensiveadvice.com/80s.html).

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